She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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