Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
