quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
