how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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