He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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