If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
