Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
