He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
high people should be assigned attendants
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
