did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
