Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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