Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize