So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
