I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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