Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
