And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
