I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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