Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
