I can't breathe out the right side of my face
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
