i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
