Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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