Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
