grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
