Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
whose ass print is on the piano?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
