do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
