'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
