We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize