I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
