Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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