Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
