jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
