This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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