i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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