this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
