i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
