marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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