we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
