There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
