I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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