So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
