Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
