I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
