I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
