she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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