Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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