sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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