Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
