u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize