I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
