who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There's even glitter on my cock...
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