And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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