I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
