If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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