you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
