you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
