i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize