I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
