no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
