No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize