need another drink. this is the easiest way
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
