better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
