I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
