Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
